RHUGT Luann Cannot Read the Room

Kelli (00:00.856)
Hi, welcome to Be Wine Whenever, I'm Kelly.

Lori (00:03.233)
And I'm Laurie.

Kelli (00:05.352)
And tonight we're talking about Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, Season Five, Roaring Twentieth, Episode Six, Cookies. cookies and conversation.

Lori (00:16.13)
You know, I gotta tell ya, I was like what the hell's a what the hell's a cocky? I was like, what is like I just remember like

Kelli (00:25.944)
So that's marisol from Miami's thing instead of cocktail, she calls it a cocky.

Lori (00:29.547)
Okay.

Lori (00:33.294)
Because I was thinking like, you know, like we used to say like cocky foe. Like, what is what is cock? Okay, all right, I get it now. Okay, now I get it. Okay, okay. And I was thinking, like, is it some like weird word for like the croquette things that they were eating? I just I didn't know what was going on. I couldn't, I couldn't figure it out.

Kelli (00:38.679)
Right, right, right.

Kelli (00:42.592)
It's short for cocktail. And Marisol likes her cocktails. She loves her cockies.

Kelli (00:58.178)
Yeah. It's a nod to a cocktail, Marisol style. You know, I listen to you know, I've always watched Miami. I listened to Reality Court with Anakin Kosis, who was a real housewife of Miami. And she's also a lawyer, which is why it's called Reality Court, but they cover Bravo shows. She and Marisol do not get along at all. So when I listen to Anna, I I don't necess I don't really like Marisol because

Lori (01:01.557)
Okay. Okay.

Kelli (01:28.472)
There was another housewife from Miami, Dr. Nicole, and she was a great housewife. She was so rich. She and her partner, this guy Anthony, who's also a lawyer, and they just live a very lavish lifestyle. I believe either they bought Jeff Bezos' house or they bought Jeff Bezos' house for their mom, or they sold their house to Jeff Bezos.

Something had to do with real estate with Jeff Bezos, just to give you an idea of how wealthy they are. Well, Dr. Nicole didn't come back to my it's canceled again, Miami, but this is the second time they've canceled it. but Dr. Nicole didn't come back for the last season because in the off season, Marisol hired a private investigator to dig up dirt on Nicole's partner. They're not married, so her fiance, they are engaged, her fiance, Anthony. and you know, just I just you know.

Lori (01:55.17)
Something.

Lori (01:59.403)
Right, right, right.

Lori (02:19.318)
Right, right.

Kelli (02:25.373)
i l Louie hiring the private investigate like stop, what are you doing? Just if

Lori (02:25.933)
Yeah, come on.

Stop. Yeah. Now isn't it isn't it on pause because the one the one guy was suing Bravo?

Kelli (02:36.66)
I mean that's what people are saying. I don't see why else they would have put it on pause because it's it was a good show. Like people really like Miami. I don't know why it's on pause.

Lori (02:45.026)
Right.

Lori (02:49.068)
Yeah, I was I heard some stuff like that. I was wondering what the deal was.

Kelli (02:52.322)
Yeah. But listen, like Teresa, I put my feelings of her on on her show aside because she is enjoyable to watch on this show because her guard is down. She's getting along with the girls. She's forming a friendship with Lisa. Like this is enjoyable to watch. So this episode I enjoyed watching Marisol, so I had to put my feelings aside.

Lori (03:02.558)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kelli (03:17.282)
You know, it's a real it's a it's a real I have very I'm invested very much emotionally in these shows, obviously.

Lori (03:27.777)
It's so funny to me.

Kelli (03:28.43)
Anyway, so the episode starts out and we are in Miami. And Lisa is like gassing Teresa up again. my god, I am obsessed with your outfit, Moshino, which her outfit was very 80s. Like Moshino is very 80s, and then the fluorescent and you know the neon, all that. But then a t a producer asks Teresa.

Lori (03:44.334)
my God.

Yes. Yes.

Lori (03:53.806)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (03:57.945)
Do you notice that Lisa's giving you a lot of compliments? And Theresa's like, Yes, she's not that dumb, you know?

Lori (04:05.002)
Right, right, right, right, right. And then production shows all the like the compliments. And it they weren't even like spread out. They were all from like one scene. And I was like, my god. Yeah. Yeah. And then Lisa does her typical she's a big like girl. So sh Lisa's like Lisa says, I am so aware of like what a good friend you've been to me and I'm like

Kelli (04:10.657)
Yeah.

Kelli (04:15.918)
It was like word vomit, like, my God, you know.

Kelli (04:25.518)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (04:34.144)
Everyone's gonna leave me and

Kelli (04:39.35)
Make her take an Uber to the airport.

Lori (04:41.527)
Yes.

Kelli (04:43.864)
Yeah. So then we see Lewand

Lori (04:44.938)
And and Teresa and then Teresa sorry to interrupt, then Teresa saying, you know, if if they would have made you take an Uber, I would have got off the bus. I'm like, Really? Take come I don't think I don't think you would have. I don't think you would have.

Kelli (04:59.406)
So I don't know if Teresa would have actually gotten off the bus because I really do think on this show with this cast, Teresa's just trying to be fun, lighthearted. So I don't know if she would have taken that much of a stand and actually gotten off the bus. But I do think Teresa would have been like, we can't do that. We can't leave her. That's not right. I do think she would have done that. Yeah.

Lori (05:09.72)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (05:13.955)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (05:17.56)
That's what I'm saying.

Lori (05:22.08)
Right. Yeah. Right. I believe she would yeah. I do think she would have done that, but I don't think she would have gotten off the bus. Yeah, that's No. No. Fly under the radar. Yeah.

Kelli (05:29.346)
I mean getting off the bus is kind of a bold move and I don't think she wants to do that on this show. I think she wants to just kind of fly under the radar. I think she's grateful to be there because I think she knows where she stood with the network and you know, it was touch and go there for a while for her.

Lori (05:40.716)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (05:44.632)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (05:49.999)
So then Luanne, Giselle, and Portia are talking and Giselle says, What you are not gonna do is waste my time. She says, We all manage our time and we need to be on time. And Luann's like, She should have just apologized. And they're talking about Lisa. And she should have just apologized.

Lori (06:06.766)
She should have just apologized.

Kelli (06:11.138)
And then we go back to Lisa and Teresa and Lisa says, I don't like fake apologies and I'm not friends with Giselle, so why would I apologize? I mean, it didn't really make any sense. Like you're saying

Lori (06:19.138)
Which made no sense. Makes no sense. She did

She did make more sense later on in the scene on the beach, but at this point you're still talking nonsense.

Kelli (06:28.523)
Yes.

Kelli (06:33.334)
No, because you're all saying how this is a sisterhood, it's a sorority, it's this, it's that. So, you know, if you hurt s I mean, I don't think listen, it was a half hour. Lisa Hoxtein was two hours late for that goddess event. When they approached her on the bus on Miami, I'm like, Yeah, damn straight you're gonna get called out. But it was a half hour for crying out loud. I wait a half hour for these knuckleheads I live with sometimes.

Lori (06:37.102)
Lori (06:46.099)
that's crazy.

Lori (06:50.67)
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lori (06:58.605)
Right.

Kelli (07:01.328)
Teresa says to Lisa that she felt bad about how her castmates were treating her the night before, and Lisa appreciated that. And then for some reason we have to find out that Vicky hasn't pooped because of traveling. And then she took two what'd she take? Two two dolcalects and then two metamusols. Yeah, well get that's gonna catch up with you, Vic. That's gonna catch up with you. And Kyle's like, we don't talk about digestive and

Lori (07:16.536)
Dokalax. Two Dokalax.

Lori (07:22.486)
Yeah. We don't need to know.

Kelli (07:30.368)
Issues in Beverly Hills.

Lori (07:30.89)
Yeah, we don't have digestive issues. And we don't talk about them. certainly not on camera. And how about Lisa telling telling Teresa, I literally miss you in my room. I'm like, what? What? S stop. Yeah, stop.

Kelli (07:46.391)
I know. Like settle down. You know all you bitches like to have your own rooms. Then they flash back to all the diarrhea incidences, and most of them are in Mexico, so I advise Bravo to stop sending people to Mexico.

Lori (07:53.014)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (08:01.646)
To Mexico, yeah.

Kelli (08:03.916)
Lou says Vicky wasn't comfortable last night, and Portia says in Atlanta they really turned it up for Nene's return. And Vicky did not get that reaction in the OC. which I agree, but it's so different because Vicki was already back on OC and they were getting ready to film. So, you know, in the OC, now they know Vicki's coming back. So everybody's w, you know, coming up with their strategies for the upcoming season. So they're

Lori (08:14.19)
Mm-hmm.

Lori (08:32.6)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (08:33.336)
Plus Vicky wasn't gone that long. She really wasn't gone that long. She was just a friend of a couple of seasons ago. Nene's been gone. And Nene's, you know, f suing the network and suing Andy Cohen and you know, so there was big goins on.

Lori (08:39.264)
Right. Right.

Lori (08:44.31)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah. So there's big goings on. I love I love how Luann said Vicky talking about Vicky's theme for the party, the Mary Poppins with depression. That was great. That was great.

Kelli (08:57.486)
That was really good. That wig was horrible.

Lori (09:03.852)
Kelli (09:05.666)
So then we get to the beach, Marisol and Alexia are there. there's all mannequins set up with wigs. And Lou Ann says she and Marisol see each other all the time. Listen, I'm not a Marisol fan, like I said, but I would hang out with Marisol with Luann because that has to be a good time. Yeah.

Lori (09:27.446)
Something else. Yeah. And how come th did you know the girls when everybody was first walking on the beach and Marisol and Alexia were sitting there and they were saying, what all these girls got in common? They don't have any ass. Porsche's got ass. What are you talking about? Porsche's got like come on. I was thinking, Stop it. What are you talking about? Yeah.

Kelli (09:44.11)
Yeah, no shit.

Ass for days. And I believe that's bought and paid for because if you watch Portion when she first came on Atlanta, she did not have that ass. She's either been squatting like a mofo. I don't think so. I do not think so. And Giselle's like, Miami went away and then it came back and they're killing it. Meanwhile, now it's canceled again.

Lori (09:56.924)
okay. Not it's not cornbread fed.

Lori (10:13.994)
Right.

Kelli (10:17.162)
so then Luann meets some guy or no no no the no, that didn't happen yet. The guys start bringing them drinks on the beach and Luann just immediately starts flirting and Kyle's like, I've heard about Luann back in the day, but damn, like the world is her oyster.

Lori (10:33.126)
Mm-hmm. And I at first I was like, All right, like what is up with the mannequins? I was like Yeah, I was like, Okay. Yeah.

Kelli (10:38.7)
Yes, I know. I was a little worried about the mannequins. But they're gonna play Wig Snatcher and the mannequins are all wearing wigs denoting cast members from Housewives shows over the year years. And then they're all gonna put the wigs on and then you gotta snatch the wigs from each other. And there's two teams. I didn't write down who was on whose team, but Vicki puts on a wig that looks so bad on her. I'm like, poor Vicky and these wigs.

Lori (10:59.722)
no, who cares? It's just

Kelli (11:08.034)
And then it turns out it's Candy's wig when Candy had the red hair, the short, like pixie red hair.

Lori (11:08.236)
Talentish. You can't do the way.

Lori (11:12.882)
Mm-hmm. And I wanted to ask this, why is Marisol wearing all black on the beach in Miami? And I thought it was a neon theme. I was like

Kelli (11:23.062)
I know. Maybe 'cause she was like the moderator of the game. She wanted to look like a referee. Yeah, for sure. And Luann thinks because she's good at volleyball, she's gonna be good at Wig Snatcher. I mean, where's the correlation, Lou?

Lori (11:26.516)
I guess, but she must have been dying.

Lori (11:40.12)
Look.

She's she's a little off her rocker. She was she was I think so, I think so. And I I wondered also what was in her vape.

Kelli (11:45.836)
Well, apparently the go go juice had gotten to her here, but we didn't know that yet.

Kelli (11:58.967)
for sure. Which is probably why she tried to pass it off to Kyle, because I believe Kyle will do that. I don't think Kyle smokes nicotine and she definitely doesn't drink, but she's probably California sober, which is fine. So Kyle is so competitive at Wig Snatcher, she's stealing Porsche's wig, and Porsche's on her team. She was very, she's very competitive. And then at the end, Marisol's like, it's a tie.

Lori (12:00.418)
Sure.

Lori (12:06.766)
Mm-hmm, mm hmm. Mm-hmm. huh. Yeah.

Lori (12:18.008)
She was crazy. Kyle was crazy. I was like, girl, whoa. I guess so.

Kelli (12:26.102)
And they're both like, no, it's not. Like they're both saying they won. And then it hit me as at this point, I'm watching, I'm like, there's no season one Miami girls on this trip. They could have put Alexia on this show because right so right before Miami got canceled for the second time, Marisol was a friend of. She was downgraded. Actually, they weren't gonna bring her out back at all. And apparently Alexia gave up some of her salary to bring Marisol back as a friend of.

Lori (12:29.219)
Yeah.

Lori (12:37.706)
Right. That's what people were saying.

Kelli (12:55.426)
That's the word on the street. But they really could have put Alexia back on like on this show as a season one Miami housewife. So I don't know why they didn't.

Lori (12:57.014)
Kelli (13:07.432)
they start the girl other girls give Marisol and Alexia like kind of the lowdown on where they what they've done so far. And then Portia says to Vicky, when you left let you know, the party in Atlanta, you said it was your knee that was bothering you. And Vicki says, I wasn't feeling well, and I was standing by myself, and I felt out of place. And

You know, she's like, sometimes you just feel out of place. And Giselle says to Vicki, We're all housewives. So Portia asks her if she was jealous that everyone was celebrating Nene. And Vicki's like, I don't, you know, no, I wasn't jealous. I don't I don't need that much attention. I'm good. Which I kind of believe and I kinda don't. However, I'm gonna give Vicky credit here because she actually said the truth.

Lori (13:57.401)
She did. She finally did say the truth.

Kelli (13:59.767)
Yeah. And I'm happy she did that because I didn't like what people online were saying about her being uncomfortable in a room with women of color. So I'm very glad she said what she said because I feel like that gives more clarification.

Lori (14:08.556)
Yeah, like I said.

Lori (14:12.726)
Yeah, 'cause like I told you, I I mean, like I said, I could be wrong 'cause I don't really know much about these housewives, but I really didn't think it was that. I just felt like she was just too much in her own head and just I don't you know what maybe she's maybe she has some anxiety issues. I don't know. But she you know

Kelli (14:31.83)
Yeah. I do think it had to do with people not giving her a lot of attention. But I don't think she was I don't think she was comparing herself to Nene, but I think she did feel like nobody was giving her attention. Yeah. Yeah. You know, 'cause she always says how she started the show, like maybe she felt like with this twentieth anniversary people were gonna be like, Vicky, you started this, you you know.

Lori (14:45.42)
A certain way about it. Right. She did feel a certain way about it. But

Lori (14:54.047)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (15:01.716)
Some kind of accolade and she didn't get it.

Lori (15:04.258)
Right. Well and you know, not for nothing. She really didn't get diddly squat from her own cast. But but

Kelli (15:11.68)
No and and when Porsche when Porsche said that I was like, damn, she's right.

Lori (15:16.856)
She's right. I not that it's not not that some of that is not Vicky's fault, because some of it is her fault because she just was such a rag that everybody was like you know.

Kelli (15:29.228)
Right. And the whole Slade thing, like I don't know why she did that. I don't know why she gave that guy any attention.

Lori (15:32.396)
Yeah, that was just that's just crazy.

Lori (15:37.58)
Yeah. And how about

Kelli (15:39.362)
So this is when Luann meets the guy on the bike who's from Argentina. And she says she

Lori (15:42.176)
Yeah. That's what I put down. I put Luanne trying to visit Argentina.

Kelli (15:48.364)
Yeah. And she may be dating Michael, but she's not dead.

Kelli (15:54.477)
I know. Giselle asks Vicky if she wanted to get carried in like Nene and Vicki, and Vicki says no. I mean that was a stupid question, Giselle. I I d I am not enjoying Giselle on this show at all.

Lori (16:08.12)
She's busy. She's very busy.

Kelli (16:10.562)
Just like every other show, we're not hearing anything about Giselle's life. Giselle's just in everybody else's business.

Lori (16:15.246)
She's very busy. Everybody's business.

Kelli (16:19.554)
Luann says, even though we've been on the franchise so long, we want to see you make a grand entrance. And then she starts to Vicky and then she starts talking about herself. Then she takes the megaphone and can't figure out how to use it. Now at this point we all should have realized that Luann was a little buzzed up, but I didn't I didn't clock it yet.

Lori (16:37.496)
Right. No, me neither. But as annoying as she was, she actually really did do a very good job of

like bringing things out in Vicky to kind of like be honest and stuff. I I thought she did a good job with that. you know.

Kelli (17:06.734)
Sorry.

Lori (17:11.404)
And how about Lisa saying, I want people to beg me to be part of the group and Porsche's like, All right, now you want the attention on you, Lisa. yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kelli (17:20.79)
Yeah. Be careful what you wish for.

Yeah. So yeah, so basically the cast is saying that the girls in the O C didn't celebrate Vicky the way, you know, the girls in Atlanta celebrated Nene. Again, two different it's literally oranges and peaches, but you know, different situations. Vicky said

Lori (17:40.012)
Yeah. And then but Luann always has to take it too far with like being part of the universe and like she just she just like beard off in the tangent.

Kelli (17:49.577)
That's what I mean. Like at this point, we all should have realized Luann was in a in a much different space than anybody else. The go go juice got to her. Yeah. Vicky says she can't help the way she feels. Giselle asks her if she regrets saying yes to this, being on this show, and she's like, No. And Giselle says we want the whoop it up Vicky tonight. So I think it's kind of hard to not whoop it up in Miami.

Lori (17:56.237)
than anybody else. It's go going. Yeah.

Kelli (18:19.419)
they go to lunch and the first thing Luann notices is that there's kids in the pool. Did you see the look of disappointment on her face?

Lori (18:28.714)
Mhm. She's like, no, there's children here. I can't really

Kelli (18:32.384)
Yeah. Portia orders shots for the table, she ordered a fake one for Kyle. Alexia says she has a master's in education.

I I kind of I kind of call bullshit on this and might need to see some proof.

Lori (18:49.92)
Yeah, might need to see the proof, yeah.

Kelli (18:52.214)
I mean I just I just don't know about this.

Lori (18:54.552)
And how about how about Lisa saying, you're not a lawyer. You would have been a great lawyer and I was like

Kelli (19:03.916)
Yes, I know. Just gassing everybody up.

Lori (19:07.8)
yeah. And Teresa's face trying to figure out Luann's toast was absolutely priceless. She was like trying to follow that bouncing bone. She's just like

Kelli (19:20.248)
Yeah, no, I can't do it. Yeah. Lisa Hoxtein is hosting the party tonight. So they flash back. Lisa Hoxtein hosted she and her ex husband Lenny, who is a predator is the best way to say it, hosted lingerie parties. They lived they lived on Star Island in Miami, which I'm sure you're familiar with that, correct? And

Lori (19:21.644)
No, yeah.

Lori (19:43.83)
Mm-hmm. Yep, yep.

Kelli (19:49.061)
I just realized Diddy lived. There are two, but Diddy lived on Star Island too. So I guarantee he was at one of their parties. But they hosted like lingerie parties. So you saw the flashback. That was on Real Housewives of Miami. And somebody asks asks Giselle if she's gonna squash the beef with Adriana. Now I didn't know anything about this because I don't I don't watch BravoCon when it's on Peacock, because you know, whatever. But I guess Adriana said Giselle was the rudest housewife to her.

Lori (19:50.872)
Mm-hmm. Yes.

Lori (20:12.494)
Mm.

Kelli (20:18.904)
Which that checks out. I totally think that checks out. Luann and so basically Giselle's like it's it's squashed, but we are not in a good place. Like basically Giselle like put her in her place.

Lori (20:19.405)
yeah, I saw that when they showed that flashback. Yeah.

Lori (20:34.93)
Mm. You know what the thing about Giselle is? Is that she's in everybody's business. She's super annoying. But she's just so pretty. She just so she just so pretty. And it's like it's distracting 'cause it's like you're looking at her but not necessarily paying attention to what she's kind of saying. Like it just it's a weird thing.

Kelli (20:47.598)
She is, but see I she is.

Kelli (21:02.882)
Yeah, I just don't think she's pretty on the inside, so I have a hard time, you know.

Luann starts to make a toast and brings up Mama Elsa, who was a pure joy to watch Unreal Housewives of Miami. Honestly, she really was. She was great. She also loved her cockies. And then as Yeah, well, Marisol has talked about that in the past where like one doctor like really fucked her up bad. And that yeah. And then it was like she didn't want to leave the house after that.

Lori (21:24.184)
She also liked some plastic surgery.

Lori (21:31.982)
that's hard.

Kelli (21:38.017)
If you look look up Mama Elsa when she was younger, gorgeous. Stunning and gorgeous. On the last season of Miami, you learned more about Marisol and her upbringing. her mom is Cuban, but her father was like this preppy guy from Connecticut, which is very interesting, right? Yeah. so yeah, she she was the victim of some bad plastic surgery, unfortunately. But she was so lovely and she was so fun to watch.

Lori (21:41.292)
Mm-hmm. Gorgeous.

Lori (21:57.327)
Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Lori (22:04.147)
that's horrible.

Kelli (22:08.29)
But when Luanne starts speaking, Kyle makes a noise and Luann gets very upset and calls her out and says that she was rolling her eyes.

Lori (22:13.612)
yeah. I think her eyes, yeah. Cause I was like, no, I sighed. I mean she's probably sighing. She was probably she was probably sighing though 'cause Lynn wouldn't shut the fuck up. She's why probably why she was sighing.

Kelli (22:20.664)
Yeah, like I br I breathe. Like I can't

Kelli (22:27.682)
That's it. Yeah, like I listen, I know I can get drunk and I could probably get annoying when I'm drunk, but I don't like being around annoying drunk people. So I think at this point, Luann had probably crossed over the annoying threshold and everybody was done. So Marisol tells a story about Mama Elsa and how they're you know how Mama Elsa really embraced the first season of filming.

Lori (22:44.37)
yeah. Yeah.

Kelli (22:57.59)
And then the network fell in love with her and they were like, Yeah, we need more of her. and Lisa says, Don't you love that the world got to experience your mom? And Marisol Marisol says, Yeah, and right before we started filming season three, my mom had a stroke. And then out of nowhere, Luann basically states that she wants to die having sex and starts telling a story about someone's husband dying on the toilet.

Lori (23:25.236)
Well she Luann says I wanna die having sex or

Have a heart attack and then starts talking about somebody dying on the toilet. You like Elvis. Now, Elvis died on the toilet because he was on no, he was on a lot of pain medication. When you were on a lot of pain medication, you're you it's very right, it's difficult to eliminate. Well, it's very, you know, listen, when you go

Kelli (23:45.292)
A drug overdose.

Kelli (23:55.235)
Your bowels your stomach gets all fucked up. Yeah.

Lori (24:03.426)
When you have a bowel movement, it requires muscle movement. If you're on muscle relaxers and pain medication, that doesn't work. So then you strain and therefore you have a heart attack. So it's like, what what are you doing? Like it that was so crazy. It was crazy town? And I loved I loved how Porsche's great.

Kelli (24:07.79)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (24:21.763)
Right.

Kelli (24:26.966)
It was very much crazy town.

Lori (24:33.228)
When she says Luann can't really sing or read a room and talk about someone dying on the toilet. my God. That was crazy town. Crazy.

Kelli (24:37.144)
Yeah.

Kelli (24:44.31)
I mean it was like a hard left, hard left turn.

Lori (24:48.362)
Yeah. So basically what she was saying is she wanted to either die having sex or die trying to take a shit on the toilet. That's basic like what did you Okay, like I can kinda get like all right, you want to die having sex 'cause like you're Luann and you're basically like Samantha from Sex in the City, but where how did you veer off into the Elvis and the

Kelli (25:00.056)
Yeah, like what what are we doing? What are we

Lori (25:18.008)
Yeah. It's crazy.

Kelli (25:20.438)
And you know, as I'm watching this, I'm like, Luann really was like the Samantha from Sex in the City. And then I thought, I think Brynn, I think this is what Bryn was trying to emulate when she joined Real Hazards of New York, but it didn't land because Luann really lived that life and made no qualms about it. Like her children, right, her children were taken care of. You know, she was in love with her husband. He wanted an open marriage.

Lori (25:30.188)
Yes. Yes. No, it's inland.

Yes.

Lori (25:40.514)
Got it. No. No apologies. No, nothing.

Kelli (25:49.525)
She did not, but didn't have any choice about it. So this is where we are and this is how I'm living my life. But Bryn acted like that was her life, but that wasn't her life. Right. So of course Giselle now has to bring up that Lisa was late getting to the bus because and how she didn't apologize because everybody's basically over it, except Giselle's gonna drag this fucking dead horse for all it's worth.

Lori (26:00.612)
But it was in our life. No.

Lori (26:08.536)
So messy. She's so messy.

Lori (26:16.728)
She's so messy, Giselle. Right. Right.

Kelli (26:18.38)
Nobody cares anymore. You're in Miami, who cares? She was a half hour late for crying out loud.

Lori (26:25.996)
I think it might have been more than a half hour. But I mean I I think that the big problem was is that her attitude when she got on the bus. That was that big and and then then you see Lisa in her confessional. just 'cause I'm five minutes late now my characters girl girl, you're not five minutes late. Don't get it twisted.

Kelli (26:37.472)
Of course, of course.

Kelli (26:50.348)
Yeah. And your character was already in question going into this. But at least she Lisa says, like, I messed up. And Portia says, I love you, Lisa. And Luann's talking under her breath. And and Porsche's like, Luanne, like shut up. Like, let me talk. And then and then Giselle points out that Luann has had a lot of drinks. And she has had some experience with this on Love Hotel. And then it

Lori (26:53.751)
Yeah, absolutely. Yes.

Lori (27:07.756)
Yeah, shut up. Yeah.

Lori (27:18.488)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (27:19.01)
Then we clock it. We're like, she's all buzzed up. So Portia tells Lisa her friends think she doesn't take accountability. And all she had to do was apologize when she got on the bus. And Lisa says I was in the wrong. And I understand it's a respect thing. And I went into defense mode. So she was jacked up over the night before because of how her castmates were treating her. And she was very defensive. And I do think that that's a little understandable.

Lori (27:41.642)
Right, right, right.

Lori (27:47.15)
Absolutely, that is understandable.

Kelli (27:49.261)
Yeah. Giselle says I spoke to all the Salt Lake City girls and they all said Lisa talks to the blogs. Now I don't know where this came from and Giselle says if you're doing it, you need to stop and if anything comes out about this group, I'm gonna know it's you.

Lori (28:06.218)
yeah, I'm gonna be looking at you. That's what she said. Yeah. Which was like Giselle, you're messy. Okay, you had to bring up a thing about Lisa being late. But now you're super messy. Now your fingers is super sticky 'cause you're just getting all into business.

Kelli (28:09.741)
Now

Kelli (28:17.528)
Well the f but

The funniest part about all of this is Teresa did talk to the blogs all about the fucking bullshit podcast. She was talking to the blogs. She was feeding them everything, which is why Jersey got shut down. You want to call somebody out for talking to the blogs? Talk to the one who actually got caught. Lisa never got caught. So if she's doing it, she's doing a good fucking job of it. Numbnuts Teresa got caught red handed.

Lori (28:27.489)
Right.

Yeah.

Lori (28:37.006)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Did it. Right, right. Yeah.

Kelli (28:50.966)
With Louie with Jennifer Aiden. Why are we not calling her out on it? I mean, it's ridiculous. And then Teresa says that Gia just finished watching the entire Salt Lake City franchise. And she told Teresa, Ma, Lisa Barlow's like you on her cast because she's always getting attacked.

Lori (28:53.443)
Right.

Lori (28:59.021)
Yeah.

Lori (29:14.548)
Everybody's coming for it. Yeah, I thought that was that was something else. And

Kelli (29:17.41)
Well, I can assure you of this, Teresa, John Barlow's not calling private investigators to check up on the fucking Salt Lake City cast. So you tell Louie to sit the fuck down and stop calling his private investigator and maybe you won't get attacked. I mean those two things with Teresa, I'm like, come on.

Lori (29:24.29)
There you go.

Lori (29:31.862)
There you go.

Lori (29:35.661)
Yeah, come on. And Kyle was so funny and so accurate about Luann when she d was doing her confessional. Kyle, and she was like, Luanne's like, enough about me. Let's talk about you. But how do you feel about me? So she's been very funny. Yeah. Kyle's been very funny, I must say.

Kelli (29:57.9)
What do you think about me?

Kyle has been very funny. Very, very funny. and Lisa says she doesn't hide things. She lives her life in the light, not in the dark. They ask Vicki to do a toast, and she does attempt to about 55 times, but Luann keeps talking and will not shut the F up. For the love of God. Vicki's like, gag her.

Lori (30:21.486)
She can't she can't stop herself.

Lori (30:30.764)
And y and to you know, that and then trying to like talk to other people's kids and they're and the girls are like, Don't talk to peo other people's kids. Don't, don't do that.

Kelli (30:38.355)
my god, when she tried to shush the kids.

I listen, they're on vacation just like you are. They paid to go on a vacation to Miami. If their kids wanna make noise by the pool, you should have picked a different table then. I don't know what to tell you.

Lori (30:45.517)
Yeah.

Kelli (30:54.414)
Vicki says we're a sorority and we have to protect each other. And they finally get to cheers and Vicky does another shot and now everybody loves Vicky 'cause she's in the whoop it up the whoop it up era.

Lori (31:08.33)
I think that Vicky eventually went back to that hotel room and puked her guts up. 'Cause there's way too much tequila going on Yeah. It's just way too much. Either that or she like blacked out and we had to get woken up later to go to the party.

Kelli (31:14.558)
Absolutely. Absolutely. There's only so much tequila you could drink.

Kelli (31:27.052)
Yes, for sure. Lisa goes to the bathroom to wash her hands, but she's really in there crying and Teresa goes to check on her.

And Teresa says she totally understands because it happens to her on her cast. I cannot. Lisa says the Salt Lake City girls don't want her to have friends and don't want people to like her. And honestly, in this case, I do think she's right. I do think they came for her, like bec I think that they were all jealous that she got this opportunity. Whitney didn't. I mean, the only cast members who aren't originals are Bromwyn and

Lori (31:54.595)
most definitely. Most definitely. Most definitely. Yeah.

Kelli (32:05.716)
Angie Angie K. So Heather, Whitney, Mary doesn't seem bothered, but dear lord, after what Mary just went through, Meredith, Meredith doesn't seem bothered either, actually. I think Whitney and Heather are very salty that they didn't weren't given this opportunity.

Lori (32:13.152)
No, I don't think Spencer, yeah.

Kelli (32:28.27)
and then poor Lisa is still crying in the car and Luann gets in that car and is just talking.

Lori (32:36.33)
I would have been like I would have been like put y I would have like, You gotta pull over. But God bless the two of them because they just sat there and they were they probably just figured, you know what? We just let her go. Just just let her go.

Kelli (32:49.09)
I think Lisa was so upset she was just crying and Teresa was just staring at her like

I don't even know what she's saying. Like, I don't even know what's happening right now.

Lori (32:57.294)
He's saying right. Saying right now. Yeah.

Kelli (33:04.074)
And then she starts singing, of course. So we end the episode on that. Singing is too much.

Lori (33:08.236)
Now I wonder does does she look back and see herself on this episode and think that she it was she was just great? Like she was just like a great housewife 

Kelli (33:19.586)
Well well yes, I I do think that Luann looks at everything she does and thinks she's absolutely wonderful at it, but it's interesting because mortified.

Lori (33:26.85)
Because I would look at it and be like, my God, I was so annoying.

Kelli (33:34.101)
I agree with you and I would be the same way, but I don't think Luann ever sees anything negative in anything she does. But it's interesting because she got arrested. I I think it was Palm Beach she got arrested in. But she was drunk and you know, she got put in the back of a car, and then she was sober for a while. But now she's drinking again. She's not sober now. But you know, whatever. I don't I don't know if Luann necessarily has a drink. I don't think she has a drinking problem.

Lori (33:37.526)
I don't think she does, no. No.

Lori (33:55.18)
Yeah, but it shame's over now. Shain's over now. Right.

Kelli (34:03.254)
I think she was really fucked up that night and made a really bad choice and said some things to a cop that you shouldn't say and got arrested. And then, you know, as collab you know, she she did the right thing though. She stayed sober, she didn't drink, she, you know. So that was it for that episode. I don't know how many more episodes we have, but I did find out that Salt Lake City starts tomorrow night. So we got New York tonight, Salt Lake City tomorrow night, OC Thursday night.

Lori's like, get me off this train.

Lori (34:36.056)
Yes, yeah, I'm like that.

Kelli (34:39.232)
Yeah. But the good news is that Wendy should be back soon, everyone.

Lori (34:44.44)
Yes.

Kelli (34:46.624)
So and we're gonna let her tell her story.

Lori (34:47.448)
Yeah. So

Lori (34:51.17)
Yeah. All right, so we'll see what happens next episode of Ultimate Girls Trap.

Kelli (34:57.42)
Yeah, this was what episode? I forget what I said. Yeah, I don't remember either. And I closed my notes.

Lori (35:00.374)
I don't remember what you said. But this is this is the thing, is that Luann was so annoying that she made it so that Vicky wasn't annoyed.

Kelli (35:15.072)
I totally agree. I totally agree. And I think I think the rest of the cast felt that way as well. Yeah. So we'll see. yeah, that's it.

Lori (35:21.479)
The same exact way. Lord. So

Lori (35:30.2)
Please like, please follow, please comment, blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah. All the

Kelli (35:33.206)
Yes. Please subscribe, all the things. And we appreciate it. All right. So we'll be talking to you soon, 'cause there's more episodes to be watched this week.

Lori (35:39.074)
I almost fell off my chair.

yeah. Great. Bye.

Kelli (35:44.878)
Bye.