The Valley Episode 16 Recap: Engagement Celebrations & Lingering Drama

Wendy (00:00.686)
Hi, welcome to We Wine Whenever. I'm Wendy.

Kelli (00:04.424)
I'm Kelly.

Wendy (00:06.328)
We are talking about the Valley season three, episode sixteen, Balls Voyage, which is a great title for this one. But before we get into that, I'd like to ask everyone if you haven't done it already, please head over to YouTube and hit subscribe and then head over to Instagram and follow us. And tell all your friends to go to Instagram and follow us and then Facebook and the others. And if you have already, thank you.

Kelli (00:14.579)
Yes it is. Yes it is.

Wendy (00:32.46)
We start out with Nia and Danny. They're talking about what happened on the birthday trip. And Nia's talking about that this is her first time judging the Miss USA. And she's a little bit worried about what she's gonna wear because sh and I get it, you know, first of all that's a big deal. And she's you know, she's still postpartum and she's not and you know she's not you know, she doesn't have anything to wear, so I understand that. And they're talking about

Kelli (00:49.322)
Yes.

Kelli (00:59.077)
I'm sorry. Real quick, before we get into the episode, did you see that obviously it came out that Jax is dating their ex publicist?

Wendy (01:07.488)
my gosh, yes, I don't I how did I forget to bring that up?

Kelli (01:11.295)
But listen, I I want listeners to please weigh in here. Does anybody care who he's dating? Does anybody care that it's their old publicist? I mean, Brittany's making it like they were good friends. Whatever. You you dated somebody else publicly on the show. You are you like looking for your Ariana and Sierra moment? Because you're not getting it. Like cameras picked back up. Who cares? Nobody cares.

Wendy (01:34.754)
I know. That's crazy. That's the crazy part is that cameras picked back up. Yeah, nobody cares. I I completely agree with you. I complet I mean, yes, she was Brittany's publicist. Well, shame on you, Brittany. I mean this came out two years ago that those two were together. And if you didn't see it, you I mean, shame on you. I I know.

Kelli (01:49.109)
Exactly.

Why are we even talking about it? Nobody cares who Jax is dating.

Wendy (01:56.223)
No, nobody does care. Nobody does care. And by the way, that's the other thing I can't believe I wrote off. I'm so aggravated that this is only episode sixteen and it's not the finale. And that we're gonna have at least another episode and they didn't say that that one was the finale. And now we gotta have the cameras picked back up. For what?

Kelli (02:15.303)
Exactly. Like they're I I mean, are they just trying to save the show? Like because Lala and Janet have ruined it? Maybe that's what they're trying to do, but it's not landing. End it. Just end it.

Wendy (02:20.224)
I don't know.

Wendy (02:29.43)
I know. I am I'm listening I really I I'm an I'm disappointed because honestly I really liked the show. I was really here for the show. I wanted to see their story, I wanted to see them become adults, I wanted to see them have families. But we spent all season talking about Danny and Nia, and I'm so over it. So over it.

Kelli (02:48.325)
Over it. So over it.

Wendy (02:52.81)
Jasmine and her mom, Karen, they go shopping for wedding dresses, and Zach and Brittany are there, and one of Jasmine's friends. And I liked this. I did like this scene a lot. Zach's said that he's been, you know, there for Jasmine forever, and she was looking for love, and he's seen her with all the wrong people. And Jasmine's mom said, you know what? She used to pray for Jasmine to find a good man.

Kelli (03:04.617)
Me tell, me tell.

Wendy (03:19.148)
And then she just prayed for someone to, you know, to make her happy. And then Melissa came into her life. So I love this. I love that her mom has been there for her and supported her this whole time. Everyone who knows Michelle, Jasmine and Melissa all say that they are perfect for each other. So I love that.

Kelli (03:36.842)
Yeah. Yeah. That one lace dress that she put on, like Tess was in the room with me and it was see through, but it you know, of course there was like an underlying, you know, piece of material, but she looked amazing in that dress. And I meant to look up her wedding pictures to see what dress she f she wound up with. I don't know if it was that one, but man, she looked amazing in that dress.

Wendy (03:47.042)
Yeah.

Wendy (03:51.598)
She did.

Wendy (04:01.976)
I actually wrote that down too. And when she put on the lace one, that's when she started crying. But I thought she looked amazing in all of them, but I totally agree with you. The lace one is the one that really and sh they yeah. I totally agree with you. Yeah. then we see Kristen and Luke at their house and Luke is admitting that partying three days in a row really kicked his butt and you know

Kelli (04:06.985)
Yeah.

Yes.

Kelli (04:15.443)
I mean her body's unbelievable, so

Kelli (04:28.671)
Yeah.

Wendy (04:29.998)
Kristen is so here for that finally at 34. Like sh you know, because she's so much older than him. Yes, exactly. Exactly. And they're talking about what Jesse told Kristen and they're still trying to work that out. Listen, I think we I think they're gonna work it out. I don't know I don't know that we have to keep talking about it.

Kelli (04:35.349)
She's like, that's music to my ears.

Kelli (04:51.273)
I think they're gonna work it out and I can't believe the heat people are bringing on Luke for s for voicing what he's voicing. Like these are valid concerns he has.

Wendy (05:01.826)
I don't think I don't think Luke said anything wrong. I don't think Luke said anything wrong.

Kelli (05:04.669)
He didn't. They've seen a lot of people get divorced. Having the baby changed their lives. These are all facts, people. If there are people out there acting like having children didn't change the dynamic of their marriage, they're lying. You're lying to yourself and everybody else. Of course, having children changes the dynamic of your relationship. You have another person there to care for.

Wendy (05:13.549)
Right.

Wendy (05:24.15)
I actually agree.

Kelli (05:33.119)
to give your attention to. I mean, he's just speaking facts.

Wendy (05:36.067)
I mean, Luke even yeah, he's speaking facts. Even in his confessional, he said, Listen, this is not the best version of me either. I and you know, I'm a different person right now than when I asked Kristen to marry me. I don't I don't want to start a marriage like this. I want us to be in a better place. I want to be a better me. I want us to be like there's nothing that he's saying is wrong. It's smart.

Kelli (05:44.565)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Kelli (06:00.04)
No, and think about the age of their baby right now. They're still in the they're still in the where your head is spinning and you're like, I don't know what time it is. I don't I don't know what day it is. Like they're still in it. They're they're getting to the point where they're gonna be out of it. But and this is their first child, like Nia and Danny, this is their fourth. Like they plus they had twins, like yikes. That's a lot of work.

Wendy (06:04.267)
Right. Right.

Wendy (06:25.846)
Right. Yeah. It's a lot of work. It's a lot of work.

Kelli (06:29.501)
And Kristen says like what's going on is temporary. And it is. It is temporary.

Wendy (06:34.742)
And he sees that. He's just saying, I don't want to do it right now. He's not saying he doesn't want to do whatever. Right. So I can't either. So then we go to Lala's house, and little Sosa is there in her little lion costume. my gosh. She's so cute. She's so cute. and her brother Easton is there. And I guess they're talking about her dog Lily. So she's had Lily since she was 20. And

Kelli (06:38.589)
Of course. Of course. I can't believe the heat he's getting online.

Kelli (06:50.005)
She really is.

Wendy (07:03.298)
The dog is really sick and she's gonna have to make some decisions as to what's gonna happen with the dog, which I get it. You know, that's an emotional thing for people, especially for someone like her who, you know, she's been, you know, sober now for seven years, seven years sobriety. And this dog was with her when she was not sober and when she was sober and when her father passed, and so this dog has been by her side for a long time. I get it. Yeah, I totally get it. I totally get it.

Kelli (07:28.201)
Like an emotional support dog at this point.

Wendy (07:33.295)
but then Kristen comes over and you know listen, I I don't like the way that Lala comes in for Kristen. That she tries to, in my opinion, you know, I feel like she tries to bully her into turning on Nia and Danny. That's ex that's what I feel. I I know that sounds harsh, but that's what I feel like she's doing.

Kelli (08:04.127)
Well, I agree with you. And when Kristen said, you know, Lala says Danny's not a good drinker. Listen, we couldn't agree with you more. But when Kristen said, maybe it's not the alcohol, maybe it's reactionary to everybody else. It is reactionary to everybody else. We didn't see any of this in season one. When nobody was coming for Danny and the alcohol, we didn't see any of this behavior from Danny. It is reactionary. It is bringing out not a great side of him. And and

Wendy (08:12.258)
Right.

Wendy (08:20.139)
Right.

Wendy (08:27.596)
No, no.

Wendy (08:32.044)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (08:33.969)
Yes, he's he's

Kelli (08:40.991)
Snapping at his wife because you w when you're faced with stress, you normally take it out on the people you're closest to. And he stressed the fuck out because people are you know, insinuating that he has essayed someone, let alone a friend. You know, it's just ridiculous. It's and they're not letting up. Lala at his his his birthday. I'm sorry for anyone who doesn't think she was coming at him from every angle.

Wendy (08:50.158)
Hundred percent.

Kelli (09:11.091)
I don't know what you were watching. She was like slithering up like a snake every scene, trying to get a reaction out of her.

Wendy (09:14.134)
No, I totally agree.

Wendy (09:18.318)
I totally agree.

Mm-hmm. You know, and then she says, you know, I'm celebrating my seven years of sobriety. I would really like for you to come. And we know we'll get there later. Then we see Michelle at her house and her dad is there with Isabella. I really love seeing that scene.

Kelli (09:38.313)
I did too. I did too. Did you see him look right at the camera?

Wendy (09:42.848)
I did. I did. I did. Yeah. I love that we the next thing we see is Danny, he's cleaning up and getting ready for everyone to come over to his house.

Kelli (09:44.597)
He seems very sweet, her dad.

Kelli (09:55.104)
What a douchebag, huh? What a douchebag how he's all cleaning up and taking care of the house while Nia's away.

Wendy (09:58.133)
I know. I know.

Wendy (10:03.458)
But I like that in his con in his confessional he admits that like he likes to be taken care of and like not having Nia there for him after this procedure, like you know, he's got anxiety over that. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like if this is what you're used to, right?

Kelli (10:16.885)
There's nothing wrong with that. No. Yeah. This is their dynamic. This is what works for them. Nia knows her husband. Danny knows his wife. They have strengths, they have weaknesses, and they're both very accepting of both. The end. The end.

Wendy (10:31.414)
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So it was Luke, Jesse and Tom. They all come over. I was actually surprised that Zach wasn't there to be quite honest with you.

Kelli (10:41.959)
I was thinking the same thing.

Wendy (10:45.236)
I don't know why he wasn't. I'm not re

Kelli (10:47.07)
wait, maybe he was at La La wasn't he La La's dinner? Or no?

Wendy (10:52.119)
yes he was. So it must have been the same t

Kelli (10:53.385)
He was at La La's dinner, right? I mean, I don't know if they definitely Yeah, because Nia wasn't there. So it was probably maybe the same night?

Wendy (10:59.774)
Yeah. La Okay, yes. All right. That makes perfect sense then. Yes, he was at Lawla's dinner. Yeah, he was at Lawla's Dinner. so then Jesse asks Danny, like, you know, h you know, he was how it was in Mexico, and Jesse said, you know, I ended up talking to Janet at the end and she was very vulnerable with me. And she started talking about a past trauma, and Jesse said, you know.

Kelli (11:03.807)
But I was thinking the same thing, yeah.

Wendy (11:27.2)
Why she didn't bring this up before, you know, I don't know. Like I said that to her. And, you know, like Danny said, and we said the same thing, like it's just a little convenient that now all of a sudden, like, this is coming up and wh why? Like just why?

Kelli (11:44.79)
Well, listen. And I I want to go back to the point that when Janet first brought up Danny drinking in the pantry, her concern was the fact that he was hiding alcohol. It was about Danny's drinking. It was never about her feeling unsafe being in a pantry with Danny. It was about him sneaking and drinking secretively. Now

Wendy (12:06.186)
Exactly. Exactly.

Wendy (12:12.824)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (12:15.217)
It's all about her not feeling safe. Real quick, Tess was watching this with me. So when they were flashing back to Lala coming at Danny at his birthday, Tess told me that La La said she was Tupac reincarnated on Vanderpump Rules. Do you remember that?

Wendy (12:31.207)
yeah. yeah.

Kelli (12:32.455)
Okay. So I didn't remember that. So that's why people are calling her Timu Tupac, which I think is fucking funny. But no no white girl should ever say they're Tupac reincarnated. That's a ridiculous thing for her to say. She's so dumb. All right. That's all I had. But yeah, the convenience of Janet. Listen, if this happened to Janet, I I feel terrible. It's a terrible, terrible thing. But for two years.

Wendy (12:35.214)
Mm.

Kelli (13:00.339)
The the narrative was that you were uncomfortable with the fact that Danny was secretively drinking in the pantry. It was never about anything more than that. Now all of a sudden it's about this. And you know, when she was telling the story, I didn't clock this either, but people are calling it out on social media. and I'm not calling her a liar. I'm not saying she's lying about what happened to her. But she did in in one

Wendy (13:10.465)
Exactly.

Kelli (13:25.351)
In one sentence she said that she told Jason in their first year of marriage that this happened to her. And then a year ago, in another sentence, she says a year ago working with a therapist, she realized that it was an inappropriate thing that happened to her. So she kind of I it seemed I'm not saying it, I've just been seeing it online that people are saying that there are are like some holes in what she's saying.

Wendy (13:53.665)
Inconsistencies. Yeah. Yeah. No, I I get it. then we see Zach takes Danny to his procedure the next morning. and we find out that the nurse has to shave his area. And I love that Zach offered to go in there with him and hold his hand.

Kelli (13:55.048)
Inconsistencies, thank you. Yes.

Kelli (14:18.675)
Yeah. But they were like, Nope.

Wendy (14:20.33)
nope. I mean Danny got Danny got nitrous to get, you know, to get the procedure done. It literally took seven point five minutes to get it done. And I loved that the doctor was making jokes about it, asking if he wanted to make it bigger.

Kelli (14:23.317)
Can't do that.

Kelli (14:33.365)
Crazy.

Kelli (14:36.789)
You want me to make this bigger?

But it didn't seem like he to he didn't totally go under, right?

Wendy (14:48.16)
No, you don't go under. Like I said, it's a simple procedure. You don't go under.

Kelli (14:51.827)
Well, now in the after show he says he it took ten days to recover. So I looked it up 'cause I'm like, all right, is he just talking smack? But so a vasectomy recovery typically takes about one to two weeks. You should plan for twenty four to forty eight hours of complete rest and avoid heavy lifting, strenuous exercise, and sexual activity for at least one week. So

Wendy (14:58.092)
I mean

Kelli (15:16.829)
Yeah. I I mean, I guess it says resuming full activities two weeks, so

Wendy (15:18.358)
Again, I mean ten days, two weeks Yeah, that's I mean, it's way less than a C section, is way less than child like it's way less than all of that.

Kelli (15:29.949)
Yeah. And I'm sure the first couple of days are the most painful and then it ge you know, it's just an inconvenience more than anything.

Wendy (15:37.496)
Right.

Kelli (15:38.74)
I don't know. I never had one.

Wendy (15:40.744)
N me neither. Me neither.

Kelli (15:42.549)
I have had a C section too and they suck.

Wendy (15:47.289)
Haven't had one of those either. so then Lala's seventh sober birthday, and Zach, Jasmine, Brittany, Michelle, Kristen, and Janet are all there for her. Which I really I actually really like that. I did like that she had so many people there supporting her. and she gets there and she when she's like she announces that they're also gonna celebrate Lily because she's made the decision, I guess, of what's gonna happen with Lily. And so this is gonna be a celebration of her sober

Kelli (16:02.921)
Yes.

Wendy (16:16.492)
Seven years sober and of Lily's, you know, life.

Wendy (16:24.222)
Then they have to bring up Mexico to Kristen. Like

Kelli (16:32.447)
Because we haven't talked about it enough. We haven't suffered through enough episodes yet.

Wendy (16:35.328)
I know, like

I know, I know. It's just like, can we just like how many times do we have to talk about this? And also we talk about Zach following Janet at the airport and then on following her. And he says well he only followed her because he lost a bet. And he said that he didn't, you know, he didn't want to follow her. He's he's maintained that he only wants to take baby step steps with Janet.

Kelli (16:56.339)
Like who cares?

Wendy (17:10.124)
I'm just like, all right, I am so

Kelli (17:11.827)
And Janet's like Janet says to Michelle, I'm so happy that you and Lacey were getting along and shut up. You were all over that shit last season when Michelle didn't want to get along with Lacey. You were like, you know

Wendy (17:21.184)
I know, I know.

Wendy (17:28.618)
Exactly. Exactly.

Kelli (17:29.897)
Looking her up, looking up her HOA fees like a psycho, Janet, like a psycho. And this is who Lala's riding hard for.

Wendy (17:37.549)
Yep. I mean Janet's the one Janet's the one who brought it out about Lacey auditioning to be on the Housewives. I mean that was old Janet. That was old Janet. So then Lala says, Kristen, at what point can we just not let things go and you move forward with Janet? And Kristen's like, listen, I just don't I don't trust her. I just don't trust her. This is not the Janet that I met. And I

Kelli (17:45.575)
Absolutely. Yep. Yep.

Kelli (18:02.623)
Right. You like to hurt people and be mean to people and that's not someone I wanna be friends with.

Wendy (18:08.844)
And then Janet's like, okay, well then if this group is shattered, it's not my fault. It's because Kristen won't move forward. Okay, what?

Kelli (18:17.693)
It's so funny.

Wendy (18:17.888)
Meanwhile, Jasmine's there with her worry stone and I think does she hand it to Zach? And they're both like sharing the worry stone and I'm like, my God, I need a worry stone at this point. I like I am so sick of this conversation. I am so sick of it.

Kelli (18:30.389)
Actually have one. I have one right here. Tess got me one. I swear to god.

Wendy (18:33.44)
You do? Where's your worry stone?

Kelli (18:37.439)
Yeah.

Wendy (18:41.888)
Okay, there you go. That's so funny. Like I mean honestly, like we all need a worry stone if we have to keep talking about this. We do. We do.

Kelli (18:50.485)
We all need. I totally agree with you. And then this, this I wanted to reach through the TV and smack La La. She says in her conve in con her confessional that Kristen saw how Janet got treated online for going against Nia and Danny, and that's why Kristen won't. That is complete bullshit. People haven't liked Janet since season one.

Wendy (19:09.459)
yes.

Kelli (19:17.929)
The fans don't like Janet because she was a stalker. And the fans don't like Janet because they know that Jax wanted to take Nia and Danny down and Janet jumped right on that bandwagon. That is not a normal person. That is not a normal person. She's not a normal person.

Wendy (19:35.47)
If she's not, I totally agree with you.

Kelli (19:36.287)
She's married to one, but she's not one. This is why people don't like John. It's got nothing to do with her disagreeing with Nia and Danny. It's that's crazy.

Wendy (19:46.456)
Lala said she's living in the comments. That's why she's acting this way, because of fans' comments. I'm like, that's bullshit. If you know anything about Kristen.

Kelli (19:54.678)
Kristen ex I mean, listen, y I was ne I wasn't always a big fan of Kristen. I certainly am now, but that girl never cared about what people thought of her. She didn't care about the people what the people on the show thought about her. She didn't care about what the fans thought about her. She didn't care.

Wendy (19:58.553)
That be Yeah. No.

Wendy (20:03.68)
None of us were. Who was?

Wendy (20:13.6)
No, no. Totally agree. I totally agree. then we get to go

Kelli (20:21.557)
Kristen says my group's not shattered.

Wendy (20:24.588)
Yep. And she's right, her group isn't shattered.

Kelli (20:26.431)
She's right. Her group's totally fine.

Wendy (20:30.21)
Then it's Jasmine and Melissa's engagement party. The place looks amazing. I really think Britney did a beautiful job.

Kelli (20:36.447)
She did. She really did.

Wendy (20:39.884)
Lala gets there and she's like, you know what? It's really weird. Like when normally I go to these things for straight couples, I'm always thinking in the back of my mind, like, how long is this gonna last? But I really feel like with Jasmine and Bel Melissa, like this is like the real deal. Which is really kind of the the most backhanded compliment. Like, what?

Kelli (20:58.943)
So tell me, so tell me again how she isn't projecting her own relationship bullshit onto Nia and Danny. Like you go to a lesbian engagement party and you're like, this is gonna last forever. And then you go to a straight guy and a straight girl's engagement party and you think this isn't gonna last. That's fucked up.

Wendy (21:05.59)
Right. Right.

Wendy (21:12.28)
Right.

Wendy (21:16.174)
It's so it is. It really is. When she said that, I'm just like shaking my head. I'm like, what are you talking about?

Kelli (21:20.745)
Holy cow.

Kelli (21:26.045)
And then in the next breath, she's like, I haven't gotten a straight answer from Zach and Kristen as to what Janet has done to them for not them not to forgive her. Kristen told you she doesn't trust her and she thinks she's a mean person. She told you that. She doesn't first of all, she doesn't owe you any explanation. She gave you one and that's that. End it.

Wendy (21:43.126)
Right. No, I t I know, I know.

Kelli (21:48.307)
As Dolores would say, it's none of your business.

Wendy (21:48.397)
Wendy (21:55.129)
So Lacey is asking Kristen how was the party last night with Janet? And you know, she's like, Well, you know, it sh you know, she's trying to tell her. Meanwhile, Jesse is telling them that Janet asks, like like Jesse asked Janet, like, what has Danny ever done to you? Like and that's the whole point. So Kristen is saying that they're coming at me because I don't

want to make up with Janet, but they're not accepting my answer, which is I just don't trust her. But yet she's going after Danny when she cannot validate Janet can't validate anything that Danny has ever done to her because Jesse's point blank said to her, like, what has Danny ever done to you?

Kelli (22:44.149)
Right. And she can't answer.

Wendy (22:45.632)
And that's when she talked about right, she talked about like, you know, what happened to her. But it it's not that what Danny did, it's what happened to her.

Kelli (22:51.699)
Right. Right. Right. And it took two years for that to trigger her.

Wendy (22:56.48)
I'm just like, my. Right. Right. And then Jason's over sitting there on the couch with his leg up. And Zach goes over and is like, I guess this is like the infirmed couch 'cause of Zach and his, you know, his head injury. Janet then goes over to Jesse and says, like, she was really glad that, you know, they she had a good time with him in Mexico. And that she also admits she really likes Lacey and

You know, Janet said, like, Mino, maybe we can plan a double date soon. And Jesse's like, let's take baby steps. And you know, in his confessional, he's like, Listen, like I know what you're doing. Like I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna listen to you, but I I know what you're doing. And we all know what you're doing, Janet.

Kelli (23:37.525)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (23:41.439)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (23:44.862)
Every single one of us.

Wendy (23:48.29)
Kelli (23:48.979)
He doesn't think she's sincere, and neither do we.

Wendy (23:51.638)
I know, and Kristen doesn't trust her either. And neither do we. We don't trust Janet either.

So then Zach does this wonderful toast. I mean, honestly, I don't even remember. I didn't write down everything he said, but basically he said he's never seen Jasmine happier. They all love Melissa. And I love that Zack just like speaks from the heart. And I really like he's very genuine about what he has to say.

Kelli (24:17.715)
And he said that when Melissa came into our lives, he said, which I thought was very sweet, he saw the best version of Jan of Jasmine.

Wendy (24:22.614)
Yes. Yeah.

Jasmine. Mm-hmm.

Kelli (24:28.233)
I mean listen, that's all we want in our in a partner, right? To bring out the best side of us.

Wendy (24:33.514)
Absolutely. And then we get the bad news that this is not the last episode.

Kelli (24:38.261)
Wait, how about how bombed Melissa was? She's Thanks for everybody coming to the birthday. I mean

Wendy (24:43.636)
my God. my God. That was so funny. That was so funny. And Jasmine was trying to hold hold her up.

I actually and I was thinking about it, it was fine.

Kelli (24:53.459)
that's okay, everybody. That's okay that she, you know, it was totally fine. It's total listen, all this group does is drink together. So if you don't want to be around poor behavior, don't go to a setting where certain people are going to be drinking. It's kinda easy. It's kind of easy to do.

Wendy (24:58.966)
I loved

Wendy (25:02.646)
That's what they do.

Wendy (25:10.07)
Exactly. Exactly. I loved Melissa's outfit. I don't know if you remember what she had on. Like she I loved it. I thought she looks yeah, she had on pants. Yes, and like a a

Kelli (25:15.891)
Yes. It was pants, right? Pants and then the t yeah.

Wendy (25:27.0)
What is the word I'm looking for?

Kelli (25:29.021)
I don't know, you know, I don't know that Lori you and Lori know the w names of clothes. I don't it w had a big collar.

Wendy (25:32.311)
I know and I can't think of it. anyway, it was beautiful. No, it was there was no collar. There was no collar. Strapless. It was strapless. It was strapless and it had like a almost like a peplum on it. At the waist. Yes. No, it was beautiful. It was beautiful. So then we find out next time on the Valley, Brittany does a photo shoot for her mommy makeover. Jesse and Michelle sit down, and it looks like they're talking about the divorce documents.

Kelli (25:41.095)
It was what is that? It was like a

Kelli (25:47.177)
Paplum, that's what thinking. Yeah.

Wendy (26:02.206)
And Zach and Benji are talking about, you know, getting married and Benji mentions again that kids are a non negotiable and I think something else happens, but I stopped writing because they didn't even say that was the season finale and I now I'm pissed off because we're already we're already on s episode sixteen and I don't know when this shit's ending because I don't wanna I wanna I'm done. I'm just so done.

Kelli (26:27.753)
I know. Listen, I could not agree with you more. Could not agree with you more. Now did you watch the after show?

Wendy (26:31.47)
I'm just so done.

Wendy (26:35.638)
I I may have. Did you watch it?

Kelli (26:37.821)
Okay, so I did and I just happened to be sitting here and I took some notes. So I'll just go through them real quick. 'cause some of it's a little interesting. So Danny did say it took ten days for him to recover from his vasectomy. He also said he is porn free for six years. So as Zach and Jasmine are calling bullshit and saying that even looking at a Victoria's Secret magazine is looking at porn, which I don't agree.

Wendy (26:43.565)
Okay, good.

Wendy (26:54.666)
I did see that.

Kelli (27:03.534)
Nia insinuates that they have made their own tapes and that's what he uses, I guess, in the moments where he needs to be alone.

Wendy (27:09.698)
They Yes I did see that.

Kelli (27:13.417)
Hey, God bless. Jasmine talks about how her mom was so accepting of her, Melissa, and she had told her in high school that she was dating a girl and her mom was like, All right, cool, as long as you're happy. then Zach talks about his when he came out and he said his parents had suspicions. First he came out to a girl he had just met and he wrote it on a napkin at a Panera and he pushed it over to her and then he started bawling and she read it and hugged him.

And then when he told his best friend Emily, she said, Well, I wouldn't I wasn't sure. I thought you were either gonna tell me you got somebody pregnant or you were gay. And then after that, his mom questioned Emily because Zach came home with a friend from college and they were like wrestling, but they weren't romantically involved. And then she his mom asked his best friend Emily if he was gay. And she was like, I don't I don't know. So then she called Zach and she's like, Your mom knows. So he wrote

Wendy (27:52.814)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (28:12.455)
his parents a three page letter, dropped it off at the house, went back to school, but he wrote, Don't call me, just text me. Cause this is too stressful. And they text him the next day and said, We love you no matter what. And then his dad joined an LGBQ T plus. Did I get it right? Damn it. Every time. Go ahead, take it away.

Wendy (28:32.972)
No, no. LGBTQ plus IA. It's okay. I know.

Kelli (28:41.266)
I always switch the QT. but that HR group at his own company that he worked at, which was amazing. And then Jasmine, I didn't know this about her. she was a Jets cheerleader. And when she was a Jets cheerleader, only two people knew she was bisexual. Then when she went to cheer for the Dallas Cowboys, nobody could know. And then she moved to San Francisco.

Wendy (28:48.27)
Mm-hmm.

Wendy (28:56.302)
I didn't know that either.

Kelli (29:10.303)
So I'm just assuming she's cheering for the forty niners, but I looked it up. She was it was for the Golden State Warriors. And but everybody was totally fine with it there and it was totally accepted.

Wendy (29:20.91)
'Cause Texas is too red.

Kelli (29:23.095)
too r yeah, too right wing. which is pretty ridiculous. Like just ple can we just please let people live. Yeah. so then Kristen's talking about how she's not interested in a r a friendship with Janet. Janet says her goal was to go in calm. and then Kristen says that when they were trying to talk, she would bring up like Zach, Nia, and Danny and J and Janet like, I'm not here to talk about them.

Wendy (29:25.356)
Red. Mm-hmm. Stupid. It's so stupid. The whole thing is stupid. Right. Yeah.

Kelli (29:51.86)
And Kristen was like, Well, that's that's what what what this is, though. Like, they're my friends. This is who I'm coming up for. So and then Janet says, This was so funny. Things went south with them during Kristen's breakup with the ex. And then when she and Jason got engaged and married, and she was talking to Kristen all the time. And then Kristen would stay at her or stayed at her house when she went when they went on their honeymoon.

Wendy (30:08.462)
yeah.

Kelli (30:19.655)
And Janet didn't like the way she treated their home. There was dog poop and vomit all over the house and she drank her wine. And that was the final straw for Janet. And she had to put a boundary up. And as soon as she put a boundary up, Kristen was her enemy. Now, whatever. I don't I don't even care enough to even comment on that, Janet.

Wendy (30:41.922)
Nope. I agree.

Kelli (30:44.317)
And then she brought up how Kristen went after Michelle in season one and she wants the same grace that everyone came gave to Kristen after that. whatever. that was pretty much it though. Like Jasmine talked about where she because she they want to have kids and she wanted to she always wanted to raise her kids in Jersey, but she's been in California for ten years. Her parents are now in North Carolina. She still has a brother in Jersey and Melissa's whole family are there.

are here and listen, Jersey's expensive as hell, but it is a great place to raise your family. We have all four seasons and we love it.

Wendy (31:16.194)
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Wendy (31:21.816)
So Melissa's gonna carry the baby, is that correct? Is that what she said? 'Cause they're trying now. No, I thought she did say that we're trying now. And

Kelli (31:26.033)
I don't know if they got into that, did they?

Kelli (31:31.845)
okay. Sh I know she said like sh she wants a lot of kids.

Wendy (31:35.68)
Yeah, I think that I'm almost positive that she said something like, you know, we're trying now and I think Melissa's gonna carry the but I say they're trying now. She specifically said, we haven't decided how we're gonna do it.

Kelli (31:50.996)
Right, 'cause they were talking about how fabulous Zach's sperm would be, quality sperm, but she doesn't want to have a kid with somebody she knows. And I don't blame her. I think that's very smart. Like, listen, obviously what La La did was a very smart move.

Wendy (31:55.639)
Right, right. Right, right.

Wendy (32:03.586)
Definitely. And I I recommend that people do that. I definitely recommend people do that. Yeah. Yeah, but I do I get the impression that it's gonna be Melissa that carries the baby and I don't know why. well then that would make sense, yeah.

Kelli (32:08.111)
yeah.

Kelli (32:14.239)
She might be a little bit younger, Melissa, right? Maybe, yeah. And then it ends with Michelle saying that Zach and Jasmine unfollowed her. I wonder why Jasmine unfollowed her. because of that whole thing with Brandon and Yeah, whatever. I like Michelle. I mean, I don't know what their beef is with her, but they love Lacey. That could be what their beef is.

Wendy (32:41.484)
I know.

Kelli (32:42.899)
I mean Zach really loves Lacey. Every interview I see him in, he's like, I love her.

Wendy (32:46.208)
And Kristen Kristen loves Lacey too.

And Kristen and Jesse are very close. Kristen and Jesse became very close after the first season when he when Kristen yelled out, Well, everybody knows that she has a boyfriend. Like after that, the next season, Kristen and Jesse, like they sat down and like they buried the hatchet.

Kelli (32:54.505)
Yes.

Kelli (33:08.072)
Yeah.

Kelli (33:17.171)
I mean, listen, I don't know why Kristen said that, but it does lead you to believe that maybe Aaron was in the picture like Jesse's been saying all along. But you know, Michelle's maintaining it was listen, at this point, it doesn't matter. You're divorced, you have a beautiful little girl. It's very difficult for people to let go of the past. I mean, you know, I I'm guilty of it myself, but in this respect, for your daughter, just who cares? Doesn't matter anymore.

Wendy (33:30.094)
It doesn't matter. No. Right.

Wendy (33:42.669)
Yeah. And I and I do believe what Michelle says now is that it's not even that she misses Jesse because like Jesse and her weren't good together. She's just sad about the loss of the family unit and to watch him give Lacey everything that she was looking for, which I get that. Like makes total sense. Makes total sense.

Kelli (34:05.309)
I totally agree. I mean, we just said it in the last episode we did, you know, we the pe most people I know who've gotten divorced, like that's they don't miss their ex. They miss the family unit being together. They don't want to miss time with their kids. You know, clearly Jesse and Michelle are fifty fifty. I mean, one do it doesn't seem like one has Isabella any more than the other one. that is one thing.

Wendy (34:16.846)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli (34:29.375)
But for what she I really feel for Michelle with what she said about him being so affectionate with Lacey and that's all she ever wanted. that that breaks my heart for her.

Wendy (34:39.478)
Yeah. definitely. Definitely. So hopefully she's getting that with Dr. Dre. Although I do think that that age difference is gonna be an issue. But listen, enjoy it while you can. Just enjoy it.

Kelli (34:41.705)
Yeah. Yeah, I like her though.

Kelli (34:51.925)
Well, not only the age differen but not only the age difference, but from what I read, and this is all alleged, allegedly, he was a bit aggressive in his prior relationships.

Wendy (35:06.248)
Kelli (35:09.224)
Allegedly.

Wendy (35:12.11)
Well I don't like that. So let's hope

Kelli (35:12.721)
Not like not like not like Diddy level. Not kicking her in a fucking hotel hallway into an elevator and nobody stopping it when there's cameras everywhere. Those people should be in jail for letting that happen. But not to that level. Let's do another Diddy episode. Cause if you didn't listen to ours before, we've done two a two part special on Diddy.

Wendy (35:16.726)
Okay.

Wendy (35:26.498)
No, but how do you really feel about that? Kelly, you so crappy

Kelli (35:39.775)
That fucking guy.

Wendy (35:40.908)
Ooh, she's popping off today.

Kelli (35:43.453)
I know I didn't even drink tonight. This is all water. Don't get me on the ditty thing.

Wendy (35:49.474)
I won't, I won't. I will not get you on the ditty thing. All right. So I think that's it for the valley, right? Until next week, season, I mean season three, episode 17 is coming next. Thank you for watching and listening. Please subscribe and give us five star reviews. Bye.

Kelli (35:54.565)
Ha ha.

Kelli (36:10.879)
Pye.